Mexican-American Women and Anglo Men

Okay. You may think it is fairly easy to expain why Mexican-American (or Mexican) women might want to marry anglo men. After all, Mexican men are hopeless (froma woman's point of view--the rub being, of course, that ALL men are hopeless from that point of view). But WHY are anglo men attracted to Mexican-American, or even Mexican (any number of soldiers stationed in El Paso have married women who actually lived in Juarez, as I learned living in El Paso, and it was not limited to just soldiers).


I don't think it is just in El Paso (with limited other choice) that this attraction occurs. My friend, Sylvia (100% Mexican-American) cut a major swath through anglo men in Seattle and Portland, as she lived in the Pacific Northwest for more than a decade.


Yes, Mexican-American women can be very pretty. Sylvia, for example (pretty AND modest) has an explanation as to why she does not get hired when women are doing the selecting: "I am just too pretty". I assure you I am not making this up. I digress again (sort of, as this all go to explain just how tough Mexican-American women are).


Mexican-American women can also APPEAR more "feminine" than "anglo" women, and less overtly feminst. Therefore, you might get the idea that aglo men are being fooled. I don't think that is it.


Unless you marry a Mexican-American woman within hours of meeting her, you can't really avoid knowing that she is tough as nails. I knew it about my ex-wife. I married her anyway, which I think is true of most "anglo" men. We know about the fiery, volatile temper and dominating personality built by centuries of dealing with Mexican-American men. So why do we do it (marry Mexican-american women)?


I think it is the "moth to the flame" syndrome, or the same impulse that drove that guy (Icarus? Not sure, and not worth looking up) to fly too close to the sun with his wings held on with wax.


For an anglo man (many or most), Mexican-American women are the sun--or like a flame to a moth. They flare so brightly that they blind you to everything else. You KNOW you are likely to get burned (although my brother is still married, as are many other anglos I know who married Mexican-American women, and it may just be me), but you can't help yourself.


Even today, Mexican-American women probably attract me more than anglo women. However, this is basically an arms-length thing, as I have learned that women and I are pretty much like oil and water (something that seems to me to be true of more men and women than not these days). The attraction is still there. If I had ever married again, it probably would have been to a Mexican-American woman (albeit, again, in El Paso that is pretty much the only choice you have--85% of the choice, anyway).


Thus, Mexican-American women tend to see anglo men as easier to mold and control than macho Mexican men, and anglo men tend to see Mexican-American women as these exotic, exiting, pretty creatures--where those qulaties blind the American men to the incredible task they are taking on. Yes, the task of handling one of these creatures is a fromidable one. But their very fiery nature is an attraction in itself, even though you know you may get burned.


Thus, Sonia Sotomayor aside (stupid as she is--see previous entry), I am not surprised that there are so many marriages between anglo men and Mexican-American women. I am just surprised there are not more.