Roger Clemens, Congress, P. G. Wodehouse, the NCAA, and Sports Bettors: "Investigate" Egg and Spoon Races?

Yes, Roger Clemens is in the sports "news" today, as the sanctimonious hypocrites known as sprots "journalists" talk about how "good" it will be for Clemens to have a chance to prove in court he did not lie to Congress. Oh, Clemens deserves to go to jail for IDIOCY, because he DEMANDED that he have the opportunity to participate in that farce known as a Congressional hearing. How many times have people in Congress lied to US (Nancy Pelosi, anyone, on whether she was aware of waterborading long ago). Nope. This whole business of Cngress "creating" a crime when none otherwise existed by setting peopole up for prosecution for "lying" to Congress is one of the most virulent and indefensible leftist hypocrises of our day (think Joe McCarthy). As stated, the only "saving grace" here is that Clemens SET HISELF UP--making it hard to have too much syjmpathy for him.


However, congress had no business wasting taxdpayer money on hearings about steroid use in baseball. Every single present member of Congress should be thrown out of office for that alone. Oh, a FEW objected, but those few have committed other crimes. I repeat: EVERY present member of Congress should be defeated, for one crime or another (Republicans and Democrats). I digress (sort of).


Do you realize Congress has ignored the REAL scandal out there--a scandal exposed by P. G. Wodehouse the greater part of a century ago? Yes, I am talking about the scandal in village/small town "fairs" and fund celebrations where our sacred institutions of "egg and spoon" races and "sack races" are being undermined. Where is Congress when you need them??!!! See "The Inimitable Jeeves", with a rating of 96 for the screamingly funny, interconnected series of stories satirizing Congress, the NCAA, sports bettors, and everything else (not least of all undying love, but affectionately).


Roger Clemens, eat your heart out--not to metnion Pete Rose. Wodehouse exposes how "professionalism" (the Olympics and NCAA surely have some kind of jurisdiction) have crept into our national pastimes such as the "egg and spoon" race for young girls (a tradition that may already have disappeared in most places as sexist). Who can doubt that Wodehouse had inside information about the corrputing influence that betting syndicates lhave brought to village/small town games (albeit maybe video games are pretty much driving them into extinction in any event). Wodehouse, of course, was writing about England, atlhough he became an American citizen, but in my youth I observed such events here in "the colonies". If only I had known that people had already anticipated the basketball betting scandals, and the steroid era in baseball, by setting up betting syndicates on those games, they would have been much more entertaining to me. Little did I know how much Congress was letting me down by failing to expose these things--even now letting so much corruption go by while concentrating on poor Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, and the rest. Do you know how many people out there are BREAKING THE LAW (HORRORS!!!!!!) by playing poker in this country FOR MONEY (even outside of Vegas and poker tournaments)?


Wodehouse did not stop witht he "egg and spoon" race betting, and fixing. Jeeves triumphs by getting the top four finishers disqualified for "professionalism" (accepting 5 shillings each for their participation in the race--certainly bringing to mind some of the "investigations" of the NCAA while more major "professionalim" is often ignored).


There is the "sermon handicap". How would your clergyman do in this event? Would he match up to the gold standard of Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, with the ability to go on for at least an hour? Would your clergyman receive, or have to give, minutes to the other entrants? Even now, are there betting pools on the length of sermons in this country? Henry Waxman, you need to investigate.


It takes a talented man to satirize this kind of stuff at least a half century ago. Read P. G. Wodehouse and ask yourself whether Congress has been any less ridiculous (actually more ridiculous) in the absurd way they are turning everything into a federal crime.


Do I think anyone should go to jail for "lying to Congress", when that is the only crime alleged? Probably not. I especially do not think anyone should go to jail for "lying to Congress" in a matter where Congress has no businees asking questions in the first place.


Did Wodehouse, of course, clearly satirized sports bettors more accurately than anyone else has ever done. But was he also satirizing present day Wall Street, where the Stupidest People on Earth do not even have the intelligence of sports bettors (who can SOMETIMES anticpate a "trend"--techinical analysis"--and DESTROY the trend by such anticipation)? See my previous entry. Wodehouse is just dead on in satire so gentle, and so sillly, you do not even realize he is skewering you. I think I underrate the book. I do not underrate Wodehouse, who gets a 100 rating as a comic author. Congress may be just as funny, but with them it is not intentional.