Saturday, September 27, 2008

President Bush and Joe Biden: Flying, Fickle Finger of Fate Points at YOU

You might argue that this week's Flying, Fickle Finger of Fate is shared by two strange bedfellows. I would disagree (although I would agree that the "Finger" is given this week for an entirely different set of stupidities by each recipient, which are not really related).  See the entries over the past two days, where I establish (along with entries over the past 4 years in this blog) that President Bush is now more Democrat than many Democrats, and more of a Democrat than he is a Republican--at least on domestic issues.  Maybe he always was.  I have never considered him a conserative, even in 2000.  My assertion is that it is really Obama who is running for Bush's third term on domestic issues, and not McCain (although McCain is hardly running as a conservative either). 
 
Again, let me briefly explain that the "Finger" is my unauthorized reincarnation of the old "Laugh In" award for outstanding stupidity/evil in the previous week (or which came to light in, or culminated, in the previous week).   The award is represented by a statuette of an INDEX finger pointing.  This week the spinning "Finger of Fate" has stopped by wildly, and repeatedly, oscillating back and forth between Joe Biden and President Bush.  The meaning is clear.  The "Finger" is equally shared this week. 
 
See the above items on Joe Biden, and the previous entries over the past two weeks in this blog.  Biden is clearly the most gaffe (serious gaffes, too) prone man every to run for Vice President in my lifetime.  I was an adult when Dan Quayle ran as the VP of George Bush 41.  Let me assure you that Biden is no Quayle.  He is substantially worse.  The man is unquestionably unqualified to be Vice President of the United States.
 
President Bush, lilke Biden, received his award the hard way:  he earned it.  See my entries over the past 2 days, and the past 4 years.  As stated, President Bush has become a Democrat, and a leftist one at that, on domestic policy.
 
Even more to the point, President Bush has repeatedly sabotaged conservatives, and the Republican Party, to the pint that they no longer have a coherent identity.  He has been a disaster for Republicans and conservatives,  and only 9/11 and the War on Terror keeps me from sincere regret at having voted for him.  HIs actions and statements this past week, including today, have been even stupider than usual, and he is a very worthy recipient of the "Finger".  The man has become a menace to conservatives and Republicans. Unfortunately, I believe McCain is cut from the same general mold as a conservative enemy (although the details differ). 
 
Two worthy winners, but this week there will be two virtual award ceremonies, which will differ.  They will both, as usual, be totally in the imagination, with no videos or graphics, but the scene I ask you to remember will be different.
 
Award ceremony for President Bush: 
 
Visualize (as a visual aid) Dick Martin thrusting the statuette of the "Finger" at the camera, and saying:  President Bush, with all due respect to your office, this award is for you.  You deserve it.  Instead of appointing Hank Paulson Secretary of the Treasury, you should have had a dream about the "Finger" and appointed an actual free market Republican.  On the bright side, we know you will never be furned at the stake as a witch because of your psychic powers."
 
Award ceremony for Joe Biden:
 
Here your imagination may be more challenged.  Here I suggest that you visualize the ghost of FDR appearing in a wheelchair to present the "Finger" with the solemn sadness and compassion he exhibited in the Great Depression, although not on television on the day of the stock market crash.  First, however, you must visualize a Joe Biden moment.  As FDR appears, as Biden is speaking to a crowd, Biden says:  "Hey, look.  FDR has honored us by showing up here today from beyond the grave.  Stand up, guy, and take a bow.  (pause)   Gee, I am sorry.  I can't believe I did it again" (referring to recent Joe Biden gaffe where Biden told a state senator (Chuck Graham) in a wheelchair to "stand up" for the crowd).  "Anyway", Biden continues to the crowd, "stand up for our hero. I am sure he would not come back today except for something important." 
 
FDR holds out the statuette of the "Finger" to Biden and says:  "Joe, this award is for you.  You deserve it.  I can't even believe that you managed to trash my greatest legacy,and confuse me with Herbert Hoover.  Joe, surely you have been campaigning against Herbert Hoover in your six elections to the Senate.  I taught Democrats to do that, and we have been doing it for almost a century.  Now you have ruined it.  Get this through that thing you call a brain.  I was not President when the stock market crashed.  I never spoke on television.  Joe, do you maybe remember those replays of my radio broadcast after Pearl Harbor?  Joe, you are setting Democrats back a hundred years. I'm begging you.  SHUT UP."
 
For once, Joe Biden was speechless.

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