Early this week, I revealed the exclusive transcript of the 3 a.m. phone call initiated by Barack "World" Obama after the became nervous about DISSING Hillary Clinton in his Vice Presidential selection. Obama had been unable to sleep because he had realized just how much of a "woman scorned" he had created. Obama At then end of the call, it was clear Obama realized that he was a "dead man walking". Well, this blog has now received access of the 3 a.m. phone call Obama is going to have with Hillary Clinton Saturday morning. Yep. This blog has sources in the FUTURE.
Segue to Hillary Clinton's bedroom. A phone is ringing on the nightstand. It is 3 a.m. As usual Bill Clinton is not there. A hand reaches out and picks up the phone.
"Hillary, it's Barack"
"That joke is getting old. That is what you said last time."
"The oldies are the goodies."
I need help"
"I told you not to interrupt my dreams like this"
"But I REALLY need help"
"I was having a most wonderful dream. When I heard your voice I thought I was still in the dream, but I realized you weren't screaming any longer"
"Hillary, you don't mean that"..........."Do you?"
"Of course not, honey. Don't worry about it."
"That McCain has pulled a dirty trick. Who would have believed he would choose a WOMAN when the Republicans don't even have one with enough reputation to help him."
"Barack, Barack. You got yourself into this. There was a woman with a big reputation out there. Besides, if she is that bad, what is your problem?"
"Hillary, you KNOW I just could not live with Bill. Don't keep throwing up that VP business to me. I am in TROUBLE here. Sure she is a nobody. But so was I. I can't really say that much about her experience. She has NONE more than I have. She's a nobody. There must be 50 million mothers in this country as qualified as she is. Every time I attack her on experience, though, I am attacking MYSELF. And she is a WOMAN. I need HELP here."
"Barack, Barack. Don't go to pieces. I am sure there are not 50 million mothers as qualified as she is.". ....."Maybe 18 million". ... Hillary adds thoughtfully: "You know, Barack, I will help you with a little free advice here. I dould NOT dis the experience of raising 4 children."
"But Barack, honey, I am sure Joe can help you. 5,000 voters are impressed with him. You might remember I was able to live with Bill. Why not you?"
Obama (mumbling): "That's not what I heard....live with Bill my ass."
"Did you say something, Barack dear."
"No, no. But you know we did not suit together. It would never have worked. You have to stop bringing up those 18 million against Joe's 5,000. He can't help it if he has no charisma. I've got enough charisma for both of us."
"Doris Kerns Goodman says that a good Vice President CHALLENGES her President. She says Palin won't stand up to McCain. I know. There's ANWR, but I'm not worrie about HER, Barack. I am just looking for a reason why you did not choose ME. Was that it? Did you not have the kind of confidence Lincoln had. Were you AFRAID of someone standing up to you."
Obama (mumbling again): "I was afraid of someone steamrolling right over me."
"Barack, honey, did you say something?"
"No, no. You know Doris Kerns Goodman is a political hack posing as an historian. Why would you listen to HER?"
"Well, I am just looking for an EXPLANATION. If you had chosen ME, I would make this Palin b..... look like the pretty doll figure she is, if McCain even DARED chose her."
Obama (mumbling below his breath: "Meow, Meow" Aloud: Look. I though we were beyond this. You promised to HELP me. You have to destroy this woman.
"Didn't I prostitute myself for you at the convention? Didn't I swallow my pride. Didn't I do everything I could for you? Didn't I even talk to BILL for you. Barack, I really think you are a worse SEXIST than I though. You just epect a woman to 'give, give', give', while the man'takes, takes', takes'."
"Hillary, don't DO this to me!"
"Barack, Barack. I thought you understood. That convention speech was all show. You are dead to me. You might look in your computer, since you are so tech savvy. You might find a horse's head there somewhere. Oh, I will seem to be doing my best. But what can I do with a candidate this BAD. Me. A poor little woman."
Obama, a light dawning, as horror spreads over his face: "You can't mean.... "You doh't mean". This was MCCAIN'S choice. You couldn't possibly......."
"Barack, Barack. I take back what I said last time. You really aren't very smart. I think I have done a service to my country here."
Obama, face twisting in anger: I'll expose you and McCain. You can't get away with this. This is WRONG. I'll contact the Department of Justice. You're going to JAIL."
Evil, but joyous, laughter....and then a click.