You need to imagine Hillary Clinton sleeping in bed last night, with a Mona Lisa smile on there face, and a phone on her nightstand. I don't ask you to imagine Bill in bed with her, because there are some things beyond the imagination of any living person. The phone rings, and Hillary starts awake and answers it.
"Barack Obama. How many Baracks do you know?"
"Too many. Hee-hee. A little joke therfe."
"I did not want to wake you, but I know you are always rfeady for a call at 3 a.m."
"Well, I AM a little tired. I was awake at 3 a.m. last night before your text message."
"You didn't have to stay up for that text message. You know it was jsut a gimmick."
"I wasn't staying up for the TEXT MESSAGE. I was waiting for you, or someone on your campaign, to call me with an advance heads up."
"Um. That's why I called. I saw all of this stuff on Politico.com, and other places, suggesting you might be a little miffed about not having any input into the VP choice, and not even receiving courtesy contacts. But I know you are bigger than that kind of petty stiff."
"Thanks, Barack. You don't know how I appreciate compliments from you. But why call at 3 a.m., when you have no worries?"
"I know. But I was having a little trouble sleeping. My staffers have me a copy of a blog entry by this guy calling himself "Skip3366."
"Never heard of him. Does he work for Joe Biden?"
"Neither have Iheard of hm, that is. I am not worried about HIM. But he called you a "woman scorned", and suggested that I am a "dead man walking". I got to thinking....."
"Barack, Barack. You know how thinking gives you headaches. Stick with the teleprompter."
"I know. I know. I KINOW you are too big a person to act like that old cliche' of a woman scorned. You are a practicial politician. You know that it is nothing personal."
"Barack, have you seen a movie called "The Heiress", with Olivia DeHavilland giving the definitive performance of a woman scorned by BOTH her father and her lover."
"I don't think I have seen that movie."
"I would advise you not to see it."
"Why not?", Barack said nervoously. "What happened to the father and lover?"
"Trust me, Barack, you don't want to know. I will say that, when I saw that movie as a young teenage, I did thing that Olivia was too easy on theem."
Barack's voice was even more nervous: "That is why I called, Hillary. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression about what I have done. It is just politics. I know you weren't foolishly vindictive with Bill. I was sure you are a practical person. But I admit I worried a little. By the way, you aren't telling me that the woman in that movie did anything to her OWN FATHER."
I told you. You don't want to know. Suffice it to say that Joan of Arc was had it better being burned at the stake. Not to worry, though, Barack. It is not like I have any reason to feel like a woman scorned. Joe Biden was a fine choice for VP. I know that he won less than 1% of the vote in the primaries, while I got 50%, but I also know that you are so much BETTER a judge of the measure of a person than mere voters. And I know there was no reason to ask me if I were willing to be VP,, when you KNEW that I would not do it. And I am such a political novice, my advice would not help you. Plus, you are right. Poor Bill. I could never really crush him. After all I loved him. Maybe I still love him. So I only........oh, that's not important. They sewed...... Oh, forget it. It is true that I have never loved YOU, but I would not let it worry you. I am a mature woman. I am not interested in petty vengenace. Of course, there was nothing PETTY about what "The Heiress" did---But no. You should not worry about it."
Barack (voice shaking): "I am not getting good vibes here"
"Barack, honey. You know that I am a team player. It'll be okay. By the way, did you happen to call after talking to Michelle, or maybe looking at her?"
"Now that you mention it, I DID get this urge to call you after staring at Michelle sleeping in bed with a smile on her face."
"I thought so. I am sure that you were thinking how Michelle would be forgiving if you stiffed HER, and that gave you the courage to know that I would reassure you if you just called me and gave me the chance."
"well, I don't know if that was exactly it. I have to admit that I got a little worried that Michelle might not take something like this as well as you have been taking it."
"That is such a compliment, Barack!!!! It is big of you to consider me a better person than your own wife."
"I am DOOMED, aren't I? That guy Skip was right. I am a dead man walking."
"That is why I am supporting you for President, Barack. You are SO SMART. You learn so fast. It is just amazing to watch that powerful mind in operation."
Here there was a long silence, broken only by a loud MOAN.
"Hillary, am I ever going to be President."
"Barack, Barack. I am sure I don't know. I don't envy you, though. Except for these 3 a.m. messages and calls from you, I am sleeping like a baby. And I have such LOVELY dreams. In SOME of them you are President. That may be a minority of the dreams, but those dreams are just as pleasant as the others. That's why I am sure you will understand. I don't want you calling at 3 a.m. again. You broke into an especially lovely dream tonight. I bet Olivia's character had lovely dreams like that."
"Hillary. Isn't there anything I can do. Maybe it is not too late. I could talk to Biden....."
Click. That concludes the conversation, obtained from exclusive, anonymous sources by "The Maverick Conservative".